Date Coaching Expert

So, you meet or have already met this guy or this girl and there’s no doubting you like them – both of you can feel there is a degree of chemistry that could develop into something more.

But there seems to be a nagging issue that’s playing on your mind…

Intellectually, you don’t seem to be on the same level, so what should you do?

Ok, the first thing to concentrate on here is that if you like your date and you feel attracted to them in some way, then that’s a great start. You can feel there is something between the 2 of you that is causing some kind of connection, which is good news.

It’s still early/early-ish days, so relax. This kind of concern you’re experiencing is not uncommon for daters, particularly those who have been out of the game for a while.

You see, when you think about things logically, you know that liking or fancying another person is down to liking a certain combination of their personality and physical traits. Of course, the importance of intellect in your potential partner stakes varies from person to person, but extremely rarely will their level of intelligence be the only factor by which you will deem them suitable.

You also need to understand and recognise that hastily erecting barriers to your potential romantic progress, is going to be a common and automatic reaction you can expect – at least for a while anyway. The main reason being – you are looking to change an established pattern of behaviour (that of being single) which your conscious and in particular your subconscious have become used to and, for want of a better word, “comfortable” with. So, to stop you from going full blast out of your comfort zone and slap bang into the unknown, you’ll tend to put up barriers of some kind, which will act as a protection mechanism.

With a little time, however, you’ll start to get used to your changing situation and often the initial barriers you put up will start to dissolve, if not at least lessen. Once this process begins, you’ll be able to have a more objective assessment of what’s actually on the cards and whether there really is any potential or not.

So in short, if you are initailly concerned about the difference between your 2 intellects and feel that this may be a real barrier to your romantic progress – just wait a while and see how your perception changes with the passage of time.

And finally, here’s a point you may not be aware of. There are actually many different intelligences we all possess, of which intellectual or IQ is only one.

The many others include Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

So you might want to bear this in mind too!

Good luck!

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Speed Dater
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