Date Coaching Expert

At one time or another, this is going to be a potential hurdle faced by many daters and it can be an emotionally sensitive one to handle.

Usually, when the man/woman you are dating doesn’t “conform” to your friends’ or your family’s expectations, it’s often because of the following kinds of things. Their;

• Upbringing
• Background
• Financial status
• Social status
• Intellect
• Race or colour
• Physical appearance
• Accent
• Job
• Education
• Strong views

There are of course more, but these are the kind of things that tend to be the most common reasons.

Now, whilst in an ideal world, we would all like people to be judged on who they are as a person and not on; what they do, where they come from, how they look, how they speak, their family background, etc. that’s not the way life is as a general rule. So you need to be prepared to deal with other people’s prejudices, it may be a new thing for you, but it’s just part of life. Remember though, we all have prejudices to a greater of lesser extent – so yes, that includes YOU.

Anyway, the million dollar question is…

“What do you DO about your situation?”

What’s the best way to handle this unwanted scenario?

Well, here’s a proven approach you’ll find enables you to view the situation from a different and perhaps more objective angle…

1. Firstly and irrespective of whether a friend or family member has been tactless, over the top or reactionary to your new “friend”, YOU need to stay calm and not fly off the handle
2. Once the case for the prosecution, as it were, has been put forward and you have listened to it properly (which is a must), if you feel no logical reason has been given, you need to ask a question which will help get to the core of the issue. That question is -  “On what exactly from your own experience are you basing this point of view?” And it is imperative you ask this word for word, because it will clarify the true basis of their point of view, i.e. whether it’s based on mere opinion, hearsay, is conjecture or actually is based on hard, real world experience
3. Once you have received their answer, if you feel there is no factual evidence to warrant such a comment, then you need to decide whether what they have said is at least logical and based on them wanting to protect you from what they feel may be trouble ahead. Sometimes we can be blinded to the truth of a budding relationship, because our new found positive feelings of enthusiasm, excitement, happiness cause us to lose a degree of objectivity – our judgment can be a little clouded. So it’s important to that you take on board the feedback, take a step back for a day or so to evaluate it and after you have, then you can decide on whether you want to keep dating
4. If you feel you do want to continue dating because you can see absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t, then go with your heart – your family and friends are just going to have to accept what you are doing or risk alienating you if they don’t. You have made your choice based on being respectful to their points of view by listening to them and evaluating the feedback, it’s now their turn to respect your decision in return.

In the majority of cases, you will find that either they will come round and end up accepting your date anyway, or if they can’t accept them totally, they will at least make some kind of an effort to. Rarely will the situation end up so major it finishes friendships and split families – but it can happen. Should you feel this is on the cards, you’ll need to think hard as to whether the new relationship is going to be worth the pain that will inevitably result. So again, keep calm and think before you act.

Good luck!

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